As I can assume you'd infer from the title this is about my fantastic trip to Newry. As with all great tales and epic I shall start from the beginning.
Yesterday morning I awoke 2 hours before my alarm was set to go off at 7am. I got up and from 7am until 9am is a blur. The only useful act I can remember actually doing was turning on the heater for a shower later. I had arranged for mark to pick me up at 10:45am. I wasted this time by watching the Oprah Winfrey show from 9am-10am. 10am was when I got my glorious morning shower. My herbal essence mornings are the best. Showered and dried I spent about 10 minutes deciding what to wear. I decided to try a new combination of my clothes. I wore a navy striped long sleeve top and a mostly homemade cardigan. Some comfortable jogger jeans and a pair of red hi-tops to complete my "nautical-esque" look.
I know, I know...I look divine.
Mark arrived 3 minutes late. I almost died.
"He's never this early."
I said to myself. Anyways after getting left to the town I arrived 10 minutes before my bus was due to leave. It had just pulled into the parking bay to wait until the departure time. I sauntered across the road groping myself for my wallet in my pockets to no avail. After a quick frisk and a physical pocket search I realised I had left my wallet at home. My brother's car was parked down the road so I waited by it hoping for him to return so i could borrow some moneys. it was not destined to be. my bus pulled away from the curb and I was not on it. The next bus to Newry would get me there 5 minutes after my appointment. So it would be useless. I conjured up a plan. My orthodontists has a rule, if you cancel twice and they are forced to make you a third appointment you have to pay a £20 fine for inconvenience. So I decided I might as well get a taxi, it'll cost £20 but I'll have to pay that anyway if I don't go. So I visited Jake at Wilma's house (his grandmother) Borrowed £20 to get a taxi. I stayed at Wilma's for some time. I love talking to people families for some reason. Time was pressing onward and I needed to leave. Wilma called me a taxi, it arrived and I set off for my house and then onward to Newry. Got to my house to find my brother was home. He was in the shower, so naturally he would have no idea that I was there so i moved a few things round the house to freak him out. grabbed my wallet and left.
My greatest nemesis was raging in the sky and making the taxi increasingly uncomfortable. I inward hated the sun and was screaming at it to go away. 30 seconds later or so it was gone to my relief and it began to rain. I'm not sure about Kilkeel but it rained on and off all day. I however never got hit by a single drop of rain. I was always inside a building or passing in shelter when it started and when I was forced to go outside it had always stopped. I finally made it to the orthodontist's and in time. In the waiting room about a minute before I was called in for my appointment. 30-45 seconds later I was leaving the same room. She looked at my teeth, felt the wire thing behind my teeth was secure, complimented my smile and I was gone. SO not worth £20. Anyway I was reimbursed by father later so I don't mind. Then to shopping. I was walking down a street and noticed the market was on. Which was strange because I thought it was on Thursdays and Saturdays? Oh well. Went in and looked around. Saw a necklace for £1! I must have it!
I also bought a sexy pair of aviators. After consulting the teenage marketing gypsy woman on the glasses and all together flirting with her, I felt like trying my luck and I scored a free case to put them in, despite the cases being a £5. The glasses themselves were only £9, the case is only a flimsy little bag but still it was free!
In my travels I raided Primark for XXL t-shirts for material for my new sewing machine fetish. IT MUCH BE QUENCHED WITH THE BLOOD OF A THOUSAND T-SHIRTS! Anywho, I was in Easons was that I was told to stop reading magazines and buy one. So i ended up actually buying vogue magazine. This month's vogue was strange. It has little parts that reminded me of my friends. There was a dance and ballet section which reminded me of Naomi Bbz's art. There is a large section on Asia and how Asian models are becoming more popular which reminds me of a certain Asian fetishist. There was expensive things advertised that reminded me of Kerri. There was a perfume called Jasmin Noirbbz. There was a page with loads of beige. The favourite colour of a Ms Midget Minnis. Lastly there was a model with smoke for hair that reminded me of MayJazzles child eating fro hair. I apologise if you were not mentioned but as of yet I do not edit Vogue magazine. My trip other than that was sadly uneventful, I purchased some new trousers and a pair of shoes that look almost Espadrille-esque. I really like them despite espadrilles being the most repulsive shoe I have ever seen other than the infinitesimally hideous Ugg.
I apologise if my blog has bored you, or my pictures repulsed you but I guess yo will just have to deal. YO!
Love James
P.S. Don't be afraid to comment below and tell me what you think. Thanks BBZ!
