Evolution is Real!

From the blue semi painted store room piled high with boxes of various paraphernalia and memories of my grandmother to a bright orange study brimming with life and creativity. Perhaps a little dramatic but this is probably the reason. When it comes to revision, every other task or idea seems to balloon out of proportion to a point where it seems not only stupid but completely illogical not to complete the task. My last week has consisted of procrastination in various outlets including making a chicken pie and cleaning my house. The grandest of all these tasks was the sudden need to clean out the store in the garage and claim the room as my own. This post shall roughly follow the events prior to this post from my point of view.

Day One. The task seems like a tremendous effort and a gratuitous amount of time is required to complete the task.

                                                    This is what I was working with.

The clear out had begun. Trashing rubbish; clearing out wine bottles (119 as I counted); and moving boxes into the attic. The whole process was coming along nicely until disaster strikes. In the attic as I lift my foot it caught on a nail on a  plank causing me to stumble. In an effort to stabilise myself I place my foot on the floor of the attic. A good idea when done on the spur of the moment. A bad idea when more thought is applied as the floor is made of plaster board. I had one thought as my foot broke through the plaster board, "This is gonna hurt." As I fell, One leg through the floor, the other through the hole the ladder goes through, I had another realisation. With gravity pulling me downwards and a large, and as I would soon find out hard, wooden beam now moving upwards between my legs it was not too long before certain, shall we say important, organs were in mortal danger. Skipping the gory detail we shall move on. I sat for a moment without pain. Then a familiar dull ache and several sharps daggers of pain shot from various locations of my lower half, namely my legs. I struggled free from straddling the wooden beam and staggered over to the wooden floor board. I lie down and die. After a minute the pain dies down a little. I sit there a little bewildered and my voice a few tones higher than normal and begin to laugh in an insane manner. I'm not sure if this is how I deal with pain but it seemed to ease it greatly. Moving on, the day ended with 2 outcomes: Firstly, the room was cleared and ready to paint. Secondly, the increased likelihood I will not be having children.

The following day I announce on twitter I shall require a painting buddy. Jordan passed the requirements and we would commence on Wednesday. I decide the room needs a white undercoat which I crudely apply to the wall. Wednesday comes around and Jordan and I set out to Knox's on an adventure. I know I want orange paint because with a brown carpet and a fantastic eye for colour from my fashion sense I know orange will look wonderful (not knowing that it would only look wonderful if it wasn't horrifically patchy). After some startling realisations on prices of paint I buy an extortionate pot of paint for nearly £23. Arriving home we discover that the same colour my brother used was the one we had bought. He has 2 thirds of a pot of paint leftover from painting his room. SCORE! Free paint. My mighty luck has conquered again, This total amount of paint was exactly enough to paint the room, leave some left over in case we need to top up some areas and to cover Jordan's hands.

                    Our magnificent work. This looks rather nice, but you can't really see the awful patches here.

With the walls orange-ificated, my new task was to varnish the doors. I varnished them and the door saddle. Many times later that day my mind would decide to forget about the newly varnished door saddle and allow me to step on it. I finally got it varnished and dried without my shoe print in it. VOILA!

                                                    Two of the sexist doors now in existence

Finally the room is ready to unveil. With some old furniture and a new sexily varnished window ledge the room looks stunning. It is not complete however, but little progress is likely to occur in the next while, hence this blog post is being written now rather than later. Here are some photos of my new Store.

Thus the never ending evolution of this room continues. It has reached this wonderful stage where I can stay in here without a gas mask. I have spent an awful lot of time in here. The chair is really comfy. If anyone has anything they'd love to donate to Mrs Store they are free to. Perhaps one day in the future Mrs Store will be full of life and laughter with the birth of a Store party? However such a thing is unlikely and dangerous if it were to threaten the container in any way. My humble store is nothing compared to the almighty pimped out container. However I am excited at the prospect of this little room. It is my baby and I will nurture it and it will be awesome! Well that is all for now and it's goodbye from me currently typing this up from the STORE! (Yup! I even get Internet out here! WOOP!)Thanks for reading bbz!

P.S This room is miles better than anything Laurence Llewelyn Bowen could make...

                                                                BIG SEXY LAURENCE!

Yours lovingly
James

I Wish I may, I wish I might.

With a combination of boredom and solitude I am compelled to blog in hope that other will blog to cure my boredom. I apologise if this blog seem selfish but may I remind you that I am not a person who you'd like to talk to if I get bored for too long. The stir crazy kicks in after a while. So, in pursuit of fun I am making a "Probably" once in a lifetime offer. I am offering 3 wishes to my minute number of readers. Comment below with your wish and if you're lucky enough it may some true.

Terms and Conditions of Wishes:
1)They must involve me, so no wishing to win the lottery.
2)They must be possible for me to do, so no wishing to win the lottery.
3)They must be able to be accomplished with minimal cost.
4) They must not cause too much damage or harm to anyone including myself. This includes emotional and physical harm.
5)One wish per person until the total wishes granted has reached a total of Three.
6) They are all subject to being declined if they are in violation of any of the terms above or if they are too
extreme.


There are my basic rules. I'm sure I won't even get 3 wishes written down but sure, It might kill some time. Finally I will leave you with this....

P.S. Yes I know...it's disturbing...
Yours magically
James

The Adventures and Misadventures of Newry

I have no blogged in....a "while". Convinced that my blog was uninteresting and boring. However after being reassured that my blogs at least killed time for people to read I decided to try my hand at a post. This is not a promise of frequent blogging nor is it meant to be a form of redemption from my dry spell of bloggedness, or lack thereof.

As I can assume you'd infer from the title this is about my fantastic trip to Newry. As with all great tales and epic I shall start from the beginning.

Yesterday morning I awoke 2 hours before my alarm was set to go off at 7am. I got up and from 7am until 9am is a blur. The only useful act I can remember actually doing was turning on the heater for a shower later. I had arranged for mark to pick me up at 10:45am. I wasted this time by watching the Oprah Winfrey show from 9am-10am. 10am was when I got my glorious morning shower. My herbal essence mornings are the best. Showered and dried I spent about 10 minutes deciding what to wear. I decided to try a new combination of my clothes. I wore a navy striped long sleeve top and a mostly homemade cardigan. Some comfortable jogger jeans and a pair of red hi-tops to complete my "nautical-esque" look.

                                      Cropped it so you can't the the ridiculous face I'm pulling.LOL

I know, I know...I look divine.
Mark arrived 3 minutes late. I almost died.
"He's never this early."
I said to myself. Anyways after getting left to the town I arrived 10 minutes before my bus was due to leave. It had just pulled into the parking bay to wait until the departure time. I sauntered across the road groping myself for my wallet in my pockets to no avail. After a quick frisk and a physical pocket search I realised I had left my wallet at home. My brother's car was parked down the road so I waited by it hoping for him to return so i could borrow some moneys. it was not destined to be. my bus pulled away from the curb and I was not on it. The next bus to Newry would get me there 5 minutes after my appointment. So it would be useless. I conjured up a plan. My orthodontists has a rule, if you cancel twice and they are forced to make you a third appointment you have to pay a £20 fine for inconvenience. So I decided I might as well get a taxi, it'll cost £20 but I'll have to pay that anyway if I don't go. So I visited Jake at Wilma's house (his grandmother) Borrowed £20 to get a taxi. I stayed at Wilma's for some time. I love talking to people families for some reason. Time was pressing onward and I needed to leave. Wilma called me a taxi, it arrived and I set off for my house and then onward to Newry. Got to my house to find my brother was home. He was in the shower, so naturally he would have no idea that I was there so i moved a few things round the house to freak him out. grabbed my wallet and left.

My greatest nemesis was raging in the sky and making the taxi increasingly uncomfortable. I inward hated the sun and was screaming at it to go away. 30 seconds later or so it was gone to my relief and it began to rain. I'm not sure about Kilkeel but it rained on and off all day. I however never got hit by a single drop of rain. I was always inside a building or passing in shelter when it started and when I was forced to go outside it had always stopped. I finally made it to the orthodontist's and in time. In the waiting room about a minute before I was called in for my appointment. 30-45 seconds later I was leaving the same room. She looked at my teeth, felt the wire thing behind my teeth was secure, complimented my smile and I was gone. SO not worth £20. Anyway I was reimbursed by father later so I don't mind. Then to shopping. I was walking down a street and noticed the market was on. Which was strange because I thought it was on Thursdays and Saturdays? Oh well. Went in and looked around. Saw a necklace for £1! I must have it!

                   I swear...I am criminally photogenic! Don't you agree?...I'll take your silence as a Yes!

I also bought a sexy pair of aviators. After consulting the teenage marketing gypsy woman on the glasses and all together flirting with her, I felt like trying my luck and I scored a free case to put them in, despite the cases being a £5. The glasses themselves were only £9, the case is only a flimsy little bag but still it was free!

                                                       Don't I look snazzy? Not posey at all.

In my travels I raided Primark for XXL t-shirts for material for my new sewing machine fetish. IT MUCH BE QUENCHED WITH THE BLOOD OF A THOUSAND T-SHIRTS! Anywho, I was in Easons was that I was told to stop reading magazines and buy one. So i ended up actually buying vogue magazine. This month's vogue was strange. It has little parts that reminded me of my friends. There was a dance and ballet section which reminded me of Naomi Bbz's art. There is a large section on Asia and how Asian models are becoming more popular which reminds me of a certain Asian fetishist. There was expensive things advertised that reminded me of Kerri. There was a perfume called Jasmin Noirbbz. There was a page with loads of beige. The favourite colour of a Ms Midget Minnis. Lastly there was a model with smoke for hair that reminded me of MayJazzles child eating fro hair. I apologise if you were not mentioned but as of yet I do not edit Vogue magazine. My trip other than that was sadly uneventful, I purchased some new trousers and a pair of shoes that look almost Espadrille-esque. I really like them despite espadrilles being the most repulsive shoe I have ever seen other than the infinitesimally hideous Ugg.

I apologise if my blog has bored you, or my pictures repulsed you but I guess yo will just have to deal. YO!
Love James

P.S. Don't be afraid to comment below and tell me what you think. Thanks BBZ!

Refreshed Fashion Faux Pas

Claudia because Claudia with her Asian fetish thing going on combined with her renewed love of fashion has recently posted about her favourite Korean stars and what they are wearing. I would like to evaluate the same stars to be able to compare our senses of style. So here goes with random Asian Number one.

 

2NE1 and the guy with bear trainers

From left to right. Girl with chav hair and boring black dress. I think her head fringe is too much.To Claudia's abhorrence I'm sure, I really hate her outfit. She looks ridiculous. Is the train of her dress, another dress?!? What on earth!
Next creepy guy with kinda cool shoes. They are meant to be a statement piece I'm sure but the vinyl trousers are to creepy right beside the toy shoes, the combination of sleazy vinyl and children's toys simply screams sex offender to me. Also, why would anyone with a square head show of the corners of their face by putting up their fringe is beyond me.
Ginge head- I agree with Claudia, her tights are too thin especially seeing that she is the closest out of all of them that is a real size. I really like her multicoloured mosaic dress I just think that it doesn't work with the sleeves or the shoulders. Also her boots are gross
Ninja girl- Her make-up look like crap, but this girls outfit is awesome! I hate velour, and I'm not a can of cat suits but I love this outfit. The thing that differentiates utter catastrophe and sublime is the jacket. The rainbowesque mosaic jacket makes the entire outfit pop by matching with the velour catsuit emblazoned with coloured jewel-like splodges.
Lasty the last girl- All I can say is Yawn, She even looks too timid to try something new. I prefer boring McBlackDress more just because she tried something new-ish.

Personally here, I think that their stylist got lazy. It's all just smart casual non-sense. They look really good but they should just never stand next to one another or else we might suffocate one the concentrated blazer/tank top/brogue mixture. The best in this picture is the one on the right. I am a little put off by the sheen on his jacket but reparations for that are made by his stylin' checked trousers. Maybe I just have an affinity for them now ever since hairspray. None the less I think righty there is the best here.

 Oh dear goodness....
The one on the left is an abomination. I sincerely hope she is just a traveller at the airport, she looks lost and her outfit makes her look like a disproportionate whale.
Next in line is the girls with whore legs and a face from the grudge. Her top is however very nice paired with that denim jacket.
next is emo-terminator. Why one earth do Asian pop stars have this deep uncontrollable urge to dress all in black(and yes I'm talking to you girl in black dress from the start). it's soooo boring and safe. To be honest I wear a bit of black. But dressing all in black? really? It makes you just look like a reclusive teenager who is ashamed of their body.
Next we have the realistic girl. Both realistic in size and in style. She is by far the best. She seems natural because she's wearing black and showing a bit of skin but not too much. wearing black and showing too much skin puts you at risk of looking like a hooker quite frankly.

His glasses look like crap and his clothes clash and not in the good way. I do however love his bow tie. Similarly to Claudia, I don't understand why Dicky bows aren't very popular over here. Actually I lie... Whilst in Stratford I donned a red bow tie and I kept getting amorous looks from elderly women. to be fair I did get a lot of geriatric attention on that trip but the bow tie made it worse, so much so Kerri even noticed when she said "I think that old woman just checked you out..." *shudders* one last note. WE CAN SEE THERE IS NO GLASS IN YOUR GLASSES FAKERFACE!*becomes hypocrite*

I don't see anything special in this photo as Claudia said. No cuteness, no beauty, no charm, no life. The girl is pretty the boy is not despite Claudoo's remarks. Perhaps I can't see his appeal because he kind of reminds me of an Asian version of my cousin Andrew or maybe it's just that he looks gangly and awkward...Who knows.
Either way I really don't think he's handsome in ANY way. (And yes I know saying  this publicly will incur the wrath of Claudbag but never mind that for now.)

OK, Here we have a band called DBSK and for once I perfectly agree with Claudia on almost everything. The vajazzled waistcoat sucks and the middle guy looks epic. The guy on the right looks like a flasher to be perfectly honest, whilst the 2nd guy in the shiny jacket would look really suave if it weren't for the beige. Unlike Claudia I do not have a bizarre disdain for beige I actually rather like it in all it's glorious boredom but it really doesn't work here. the other beige guy looks rather well but I cannot think of another guy in existence that could pull of that thing he's wearing.

NO NO NO! The Perfect bow tie here is tainted by the hideous checked shirt. Trust me...I know checked shirts.

 

Guy on the right??? FLASHER/DRUIDIC ROBE!!!!

Guy on the left??? Awesome! His boots confuse me but other than that I can say that whoever put this together knows style!

This guy's suit looks pretty cool. Shame on the photographer...WHY IS HE ON A BIKE! Is he late for a hairdressing appointment? Like 7 years late! Seriously this guy looks ridiculous with that hair! His outfit is pretty good except maybe for the bright orange tank top. It's a bit too much.

I don't like this. The hat is awesome, not just saying that either Claudia but the coat spoils the entire look.

Girl on the left- AWWWWWWWWESOME! Her jacket is epic bordering on divine. It looks to stylish and elegant I absolutely love it.


2nd from the left- To be honest she looks like she's come straight off the Asian doll production line. I thought she was wearing tights until I saw her face.


The 3rd from the left- Really? She looks like a trampy girl going on a drinking binge that unfortunately was genetically fused to a purple ape or else has a rare genetic condition wherein she must where completely out of place things or else she will die.


Last girl- She looks OK. The gilded shoulders are a bit much but other than that she's...OK nothing more nothing less.

This one only made it into Claudia's post because of her Asian love. They are all wearing formal gear and nothing special here except a few different kinds of ties. Personally I think there should be a bow tie somewhere here!

He may not be handsome but those cuffs are really awesome! I understand the difficulties that accompany trying to stand out in a suit so I applaud him for attempting to bring something new to the table. Other than that....he's just wearing a suit.




That is the conclusion to MY view on these stars. Hope you enjoyed it, except for Claudia, who is probably raging right now but sure!


Love James

2nd set!

If you haven't noticed I like to do things in 3's. For once that wasn't an innuendo... Soooo Simply because she has mentioned me, I shall put Aimee J into this set to make THREE! Huzzah.
So we shall begin.

Kerri.
1.You ARE a fashionista.

2.I challenge you to right the first page of your novel and let me read it. It will be romance. Tell it how it really is.

3.Black- It goes with everything in fashion and you go with everyone in life. You can get on well with and befriend everyone.

 4.I love seeing your outfits, I may not love some but I love seeing your versatility in the wardrobe. It's all about experimenting.

5.Well you were in my class, so I don't really have a first memory of you, just that you have always been there. I do remember that I disliked you and Elizabeth. Oh how times have changed.

6.A Lioness- Not at fearsome as everyone thinks but you can protect yourself very well in a pinch. Also, Lionesses have a wariness of the males of their species.

7.What is your secret dream job?


Elizabeth.
1.You have improved as a speaker sooo much. You no longer sound like you're crying.

2.I challenge you to Wear A HOODIE! Assuming you own one?

3.Royal blue- Maybe because of the Mrs peacock thing?

4. I like that you have a different way of thinking. You can guarantee that whatever answer in the textbook there is, Elizabeth has gotten it but by her own different method.

5.Same as Kerri's really, I don't have a distinct first memory. I might have one though...All I shall say is walking stick. P.S you have kept your walking stick appearance.

6.A giraffe. They are yellow. They are kind and gentle. Also they are different, instead of climbing the tree, to bring the food to their mouths, they are tall and thin (like you) enough to have the food always in reach. They have different concepts.

7. HOW COULD YOU THROW OUT YOUR TWISTED SISTA SHAMPOO?!?!

Aimee
1.I have always thought you would make a great politician if only you could get rid of a certain hued filamentous biomaterial...so to speak.

2. I challenge you to pick a hair colour not on the list you have on your blog poll.

3.An Explosive orange no less.

4.I like your style. You are a great experimenter in fashion and I admire you for it. I have never seen anyone pull of braces (the clothing kind) before, also i have never seen someone wear a cardigan all day in school and never get shouted at.

5.I remember you in Sunday school, I also recall thinking that your name was actually Annie...

6.A fox, They natural ginges too, they can be clever when they want to be and they are loved by many people.

7.How long will it be before you return your formal dress?

I got back to y'all!

Meme response time!

Mary-Jane
1. I've always thought you'd look good with your hair up, no doubt in some form of creative, awesome Mayjay style.

2.I challenge you to draw an Ursula picture for me!

3. Dark Purple.

                                                                  Something like this.

4. I like/love your unique mind and hobbies. I may not share your hobbies but I admire you for having different hobbies.

5. You sitting at the side of Mrs Annetts form class, no one spoke to you and I thought you were a loser. Sorry but it's true. Take note I said THOUGHT. I definately don't think that anymore!

6. I see you as an all knowing cat. You sit and watch everyone in a "I know everything" manner AKA. Supersmugness.

7.Where exactly DO you shop for clothes?


Emma
1.Every morning as soon as you sit down in form class. You get this bewildered look on your face like you've forgotten something or forgotten where you and and look round and re-adjust yourself in your chair.

2.I challenge you to write a short story based on Brenda the Cat.

3. A peacock-y blue/green.

4. Your randomness and your earrings. Simple as that.

5.Hearing that you read the dictionary in first year and then hearing the girls in 8.2 point at you at lunch and murmuring "Is that her???"

6.A colourful Hedgehog. Because they're tough, unusual and peculiar.

7. Where is this so-called Birthday present woman!


Claudoo

1. Out of all of my friends. You're the one that I have most faith in that you'll fulfil your dreams.

2. I challenge you to get a really different and 100% Unique formal dress. I don't care if it has to be hand-made by orphaned spiders or not!

3. An elegant Purple.

4. Your Complete uniqueness. Sense of style, and your bottomless confidence (even though you're apparently quietly confident)

5.To be honest I don't really remember. I think it was actually seeing pictures of you at a sleepover...maybe?

6.A flamingo. One of the most stylish and colourful birds without being a big cheesy parrot.

7.How do you plan on deciding what clothes to bring to stratford?!?

That's all y'all!

You know the drill....

1. Respond with something random about you

2. Challenge you to try something

3. Pick a color that I associate with you

4. Tell you something I like about you

5. Tell you my first/clearest memory of you

6. Tell you what animal you remind me of

7. Ask you something I've always wanted to ask you

8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours


Simply leave a comment below, any comment and I'll complete this about you.
LEAVE A COMMENT NOW!