Cashmere Shmashmere

Finally the opportunity arose where I got to go shopping. I've been wanting to get some actual shopping done for quite some time now and I eventually got to with the aid of Amy Mckee. Her and I arrived in Belfast on Monday. A few memories are as follows.
*Amy stalling twice...in my drive

*Seeing Karen from Scotland in her car (We knew it was her because it had a K in the number plate)

*Amy asking should she turn left and signals right hand.

*Amy immediately afterwards signalling left hand and asking should she turn right.

*Amy then trying to explain by saying she tells her left from right by the mole on her left arm

*FAIL* Amy thought the mole was on her right arm that day...

*Amy having to do a steep hill start in a multi storey car park and revving extremely hard and killing us with a stench of burning rubber inside her car.

*AMY MADE A DECISION! She suggested eating at Costa.

*Me deciding "Why should I act all posh and sophisticated just because I'm in a coffee shop?"

*Then proceeding to eating my panini with my hands.

                                              Watch out Cashmere Goat, Amy might eat you.


There are a few memories from our trip. We even bought some clothes, therefore the trip was about 1000 times more productive that clothes shopping with Jordan.I picked up a Black cardigan and a Purple sweater, which I later discovered was 5% cashmere. This has compelled me to someday purchase a 100% cashmere sweater simply on the grounds of softness. That was a short summary of our glorious trip to Belfast and our battle with the fearsome hill monsters

Love James

Undiscovered talent

Hey, I'm just here to tell you to listen to this video. It's Rachel Hutchinson, I just listened to it and I was shocked that she didn't have mroe views because she's actually rather good. I rarely give out praise unless it's truely deserved so you know i mean it when I saw that you should really listen to this when you get a chance and maybe give her a like or a comment perhaps. Goodness that family must have a singing gene in it somewhere. I also really admire her for doing this, it takes a lot of guts to sing to the world like this and I really hopes she keeps uploading. I know that if she keeps at it she'll get a lot of publicly and fans soon enough. Here is her video, a cover of Jimmy Eat World-hear you me.

Thanks for helping her out with at least a few more views.
*GASPS* I'm being nice for once....odd.

Thanks dahlings, James.

Products Galore

For Christmas this year I asked for money for my future trip to Stratford in March. I also asked for an electric toothbrush and an alarm clock. That is everything, however it is lovely having a mother who gets a nice discount where she works; IN BOOTS! Trying not to sound like a complete girl btu I absolutely love trying new products. I have always wondered what is so special about the Oxy skincare range. They claim to specialise for male skin but I doubted this,that is until I had my opportunity to try it.

I now own the 2 products on the left I think. The fash wash and the scrub. To be truely honest, they are incredible, For once in my life I haven't bee lied to by a skincare company. Clearsil and other suchacne annihilators are the devil, about 50% of people (from personal experience) say that clearasil makes your acne worse. I happened to discover this during 4th year, Your skin feels cleaner but it gets worse. Garnier skin range that was released last year worked for a while then stopped working. Your skin tingles and it feels so clean, it even gets rid of spots for a while (for me at least.) The smell, however, is not very nice. It contains 2% salicylic acid. An acne treating substance but I recall hearing that it's also used to bleach skin? Perhaps it simply bleaches the red away. Oxy is expensive but it's worth it, if you're male I suppose. The scrub is very rough and the "micro beads" may not be suitable for female skin but I recommend this product none the less if you have spot prone skin.

Only thinking of your skin
James

SURPRISE!

Merry Christmas y'all!
If no-one caught onto the cryptic clue in letter number 2 I shall reveal.
"garlic in your soul" is a quote from the Christmas film the Grinch! I know it's hard to believe I have orchestrated this whole operation from the start but i did indeed plan on posting this particular post on Christmas day. So to begin with I hope you've been enjoying your Christmas this year and I hope none of my prettees are dead I'm becoming rather fond of some of you. This year for me was grand, bit boring but dinner was amazing as usual (You do not need turkey at Christmas, it's vile and revolting). Enough about me, if you haven't already opened your presents there is one last one from me. I am now revealing a few of the tricks and treats of my letters as the finale to the scandalous series.I hope you enjoy.

7 Identities
My Mother
Jordan Minnis
Emma Hanna
Claudia Green
Kerri Nicholson
Hayley Browne
Sarah Bolton

A Few Tricks
There only one letter written to 2 people simultaneously.
The double letter is not Letter Number Ten.
There is a letter written to myself.

List of a few cryptic clues to make it easier.
Letter 3- "Hummble"
Letter 4- "DiD"
Letter 5- " It'll be like my stomach being torn out through my diaphragm"
Letter 7- "You're almost an absolute star"
Letter 8- "just take a pause and read it again" AKA a Comma is a pause
Letter 9-"genetics is always a big topic between us"
Letter 10- "a small chunk of Ireland"
Letter 12- There are a number of clues including the style of writing but here's one anyways."Here's hoping that we stay together when the big university change happens"
Letter 13-" even if you are now prone to eight   kinds of racism" more specifically, " even if you are now prone to eight"
Letter 14-Obvious clue here, "Eight times Eleven"
Letter 15- It's obvious and there is no clue.

Well there you have it. The Letters. The Clues. The Anonymous forever ones. The whole shebang. I hope despite the anguish and the torment that you enjoyed the letters as a whole and I hope you'll forgive me for the letters and forgive me for stopping. I also wish everyone luck who is writing their own Letters a la Cryptique. I wonder what to do next...Anyways, enjoy your christmas holidays and get some work done to those at school.

Merry Christmas
Love James

Dear Number Fifteen

Dear You,
You are gorgeous, you are amazing and I admire you so much. You are almost my inspiration if it wasn't for your utter bizarrity(new word). You have strong morals and principals, that is something to by proud of. I honestly believe that you could easily be the friend that goes the farthest in life; you work so hard and dream big enough to have ambitions but are down to earth enough to realise them. I actually didn't know you existed until about 3rd-4th year in my high school career, however despite knowing you for a lesser amount of time hasn't impacted how much of an impression you've left on me. You are so talented and gifted in everything I've seen you do, I know for a fact that later in your life you will be appreciated more for the fabulous person you are; I am also sure that you will certainly become a role model for many in the future. You have such a great life ahead of you and I know that you'll achieve this because of how hard you work yourself. You deny yourself now so you can benefit in the future. I just think you are incredible the way you can balance so many things in your life; from your extracurricular work to school work to hobbies to obsessions you have a perfect equilibrium achieved in all of these areas and you are a marvelous person (I don't I've ever used marvelous before...fun.) Any how you just need to remember one thing to get wherever you want to be, You are you. I swear I will destroy you if you ever lose that iconic personality you have, I would love to stay in contact but I guess some things aren't meant to be, but you never know. At least we still have that meeting in the future with little Stella. If I haven't given your ID away enough I just want to compliment your unique and fantastic sense of style, I love your fashion sense and understand that everyone is different and your style is difference itself; if anyone every tells you that what you're wearing is bad simply kirbstomp them with your cats and be done with them.

I absolutely love you to bits. James

P.S. Letter are becoming much more difficult to write, therefore they are ending because I don't have enough brain power for them anymore, next post shall be the names!! I'm revealing 7 identities for the letters and I am also releasing some of the twists that perhaps have thrown you a bit. I have actually written the next post but I think it shall be posted within the next 3 days. I honestly haven't decided yet, it will either be today tomorrow or the following day, probably not tomorrow as it is Christmas day*sarcastic whoop* I think it depends on how harassed I am via comments, facebook or MSN to whether I will post later.

WELL DONE

Dear audience,
I thoguht it enough of a moentous occasion that I point out that at present I am sitting on 999 blog views, if anyone reads this It shall be 1000 and I thank you graciously for the gift of your view. I'm rather impressed with myself, not proud, just impressed. As stated in a post months back that I give up on many things, this blog has seemed to surpass all expectations and thrived where piano lessons and general interests have failed. I commend you blog for staying with me to present and shortly we will celebrate our 6 month anniversary. For the first 2 months of so i have neglected you but you have provided me a place to vent and to expose my true feelings and for that I thank you. you have been a wonderful companion and and even better listener. You help in many ways I hope taht you shall continue to be my chosen place to retire to to console my thoughts. Thank you.

LOVE James

Dear Number Fourteen

 I know this person

Dear you,
You are irritating and I really can't stand you, I find you repulsively arrogant and sickeningly simplistic. You are not the person you think you are and I see the true you. You lure people in with your words but when they stay so long with you either 2 things happen. Your control over them is permanent, or else your minions see the light that you are just as clueless as they are. You are not good for people despite what many think and I am glad that we rarely speak. There were times when I needed you but you were too busy and that was when I realised that you are basically a politician, all you are really interested in is popularity. In my hour of need you were absent and I had to collect myself from the dirt by myself. You are simply a teenager who is addicted to making a show for the public and is addicted to having influence over as many people as possible. I used to call you my friend however now things are different. I don't need you to help me along, I have myself and my real friends. I refuse to have another recurrence of what has already passed; I am glad that our contact is limited and we never speak as I think I may regret what I end up saying; in conclusion, you revolt me and I revile you that is our relationship now.


James

P.S Your clue is: Eight times Eleven

Dear Number Thirteen

I know this person personally.

Dear You,
You are pretty(just realised this is what I start loads or letters with this, however this only because I have so many pretty friends.)You really are pretty, you probably don't hear it enough but you are. You are a great friend and I am really glad to have met you, for some reason I think we will stay in touch; I have no reason for thinking this; just a feeling. I know you will do well in life and I will be happy for you; because you have treated me so well, you understand me really well and are such a supportive friend, that is why I love you. I am glad I get to spend so much time with you, I spend about 60% of my school day with you and I am really thankful for it as you help me a lot. you are really generous and kind, even if you are now prone to eight  kinds of racism. You are such a star, despite your laziness you help me when I need it and when I don't need the help as much you become lazy (lol). You work hard and will go far, you don't dream big, you dream real instead. You are really down to earth and in turn that brings me down from the clouds sometimes. I think you are a little scared of the next school year. Big university and everything and I really hope I'm there for you and to experience is with you. I must admit I REALLY don't feel like talking to you sometimes and please don't take it personally, I just don't want to talk and I feel that you understand this. I know I can be annoying and very frequently threaten to kill me (a little over dramatic but it still makes me laugh.) I swear if you ever even try to kill me, I will kill you. Well I must dash dahling, one last point, you are the best and deserve the best which i know you'll get because you're you.

Love James

*ANNOUNCEMENT*
Dear you,
Once I reach 20 letters I am releasing a shortlist of names of some of the people I have written to. I think perhaps 20 letters will be enough and I will stop writing.

Love James

Dear Number Twelve

I know this one personally

Dear You,
To be truely honest, if the situation ever arose I would kiss you. However, it would just be for the novelty of it; if we someone ended up being a couple I would end up killing you and you,me. I went through about a 6 year period where I hated you so much, I got angry sometimes even looking at you. Reflecting on it now I see that I was just being dramatic or the like because in actual fact I would like to think you are a nice person overall even if some of the things you do make me want to stab you in the face. You are really scary sometimes and rather selfish but these are just some of the qualities that make you, you; if I had to list the things that I like about you it would be your smile and your eyes, as far as personality go I can't really say; I don't really get to see how you really act first hand.I do hear people saying you are nice and funny, however this is just a "secondary source" of information (Oh, history came in useful for once) and I don't feel like I can trust what they say though because I get the feeling they are wrong. You are really a conundrum, when you do talk to me it's usually about crap and about stuff that makes you paranoid. I don't think I have ever had a productive conversation with you but I enjoy them all the same and if sometimes I learn things about you. It's these things that make you unique and I enjoy knowing these very much. Here's hoping that we stay together when the big university change happens.

Love James

Dear Beep

I am taking a short break from the letters simply to detail and scribe the long tale of Beep's, formally known as the Beep Chronicles.

It all began on the 5th March, her tale begins a sorrowful one. Mearly minutes old Beep lost her Father in birth. A tragic turn of events involving a feather duster a clown wig and a vengeful psychiatrist; However I shan't go into details as these are the chronicles of Beep afterall. Beep celebrates her birthday on the 5th of March, her age has always been a mystery for 2 reasons. Firstly there are 2 equally plausible dates, 5th March 0019 BC or 1989. We may never know what age she was sadly. Secondly there is the point that her face and figure seem to defy time. She matured into a beautiful woman and stayed that way until she was tragically taken from us whether that was when she was 21 or 2029 we will miss her greatly. Beep lead a happy and fulfilled life, recieving multiple awards for her intelligence, beauty and charm. She recieved her masters in several subjects, including English,Greek and Canadian literature, Nuclear Physics and Advanced Biochemistry. Beep later got her first job in McDonalds flipping fries and pushing children down.
Beep's life had been satisfying up until that point but from her diary which she was buried with we can that she always had felt something was missing until her fancy dress birthday party.

                         Beep enjoying herself as the fancy dress performing her signature dance move.


As usual, Beeps parties were truely wild, thousands of people always attent and she is the life of a party. An ironic truth was to be revealed at this particular party. Beep had gone to the fancy dress party as a crippled woman wearing a halloween mask (being her comical self.) As she performed her signature dance move(as seen above); the light caught upon her lustrous chrome wheelchair and caught the eye of one Jake Pulford, he was blinded not only by the wonder of her chrome but by her stunning beauty. The instantly fell in love. After a few 2 hours of drunken lovefilled ramblings and various spiked drinks they were to be wed in the summer of 2009. Not knowing an envious Sarah skulked nearby and thought that Beep looked far too comfortable in that wheelchair but thought it suited her all the same. taking beep outside to the front steps of her mansion; Beep was forcefully and tragically thrust down the Beep Manor steps. Severing her spinal cord in 194738 places (The steps are realllly long and pointy) Leavign Beep compeltely paralysed and on one of those funny electronic voice things, sadly Beep had invested her money in a bet that she would never become paralysed and leaving her poor she could not afford the proper device, only a speaking device that communicated in beeps. Thus givign rise to her name as no-one had ever asked her name before this incident. Lovingly Jake still married her in Summer 09.

                                                                        Beep on her Hols
  She always loved black and white photos, so much so that she spent most of her life in black and white.

                                           Beep having the time of her life on her Honeymoon
                                           you can see her beautiful tan and her new wardrobe




They were the perfect couple, within their brief time together on earth they raised 2 children, Bleep and Beepity Boop. Still green with jealousy the evil Sarah planned to strike again. Late in 2009, it was Sarah that stole away to the Pulbeeps household to finish what she had started only months before. Perhaps if Beep could've explaine dher newly aquired fear of stairs she would have objected to having 4 miles of staircase put into their family home. Sarah used this to her advantage. Brutally throwing her down the stairs had finally filled Sarah's dreams to steal Beeps loving husband. Sadly she succeeded as beep lay at the foot of the stairs in a shallow pool of blood.

                                         CCTV Footage Screenshot of Beep's Four Mile Fall


From the post mortem is=t was discovered that beep had a rare antibody, making her immune from cancers and Aids. If her life hadn't of been snatched from her she could have cured the world. There was not enough evidence to convict Sarah so she got away with taking the life of a saint. To this day Sarah makes it her lifes goal to replace Beep in Jakes life and she is succeeding. It is the that the Beep chronicles end, and it is to say that they end far too soon.*weeps*
Written in loving memory of beep, May you roll with the best of them.
Written by one of your greatest admirerers,
Love James

Dear Number Eleven

 I know this person personally.

Dear You,
You nausiate me to no end. Your personality is vile and you annoy me on an infinitismal scale. You're selfish,mean and I want to strangle you sometimes. However might I add, I sometimes also kinda might have a crush on you anyways. I don't even understand it myself I confuses the life out of me, I always got the feeling you thought the same way about me but you would never even think about it in reality; you're too cool for for me. We've had our moments, ranging from the near stangling to the cutting the tension with a knife moments. I have no idea why I'm attracted to you and it makes even less sense to me than male nipples but it's there none the less. I shan't write too much as your identity could be compromised and we can't be having that now could we, that might cure some of the mooney madness that is forming in the blogosphere. I shall big you farewell my dear. BYESSSSSSSSSS.

Love
Hate 
Love
Hate
Love  James (I suppose)

Dear Number Ten

Dear you,

First of all, you are beautiful despite your nasal problems. You are strong willed and have a flare for the dramatic arts. You whole heartedly put yourself into everything you do from your acting to your photonic work. You have one of those minds that are good at many things across the board and I admire how well you seem to cope under the pressure whether this is  a visage that you like you put on of whether it is derived from a true inner calm I'll never know. We rarely get a chance to hang out and think I've only been across your threshold only a few times but I have gotten to know the members of your family no matter how strange they may be. We have always had time to bond with each other during school ours but very rarely met outside of it. I recently discovered I don't actually have your phone number, but I can't really think of an instance where I'd need to call you in a panic. I know where you live anyways and that will be enough; that location is one which seems to have a small chunk of Ireland beneath your house, ie you live on a hill and I dislike hills. You also have such a charming demeanor and when speaking to someone in authority your manner changes completely. I will miss you greatly when the time comes to part ways, you are much cleverer than I(more so than you give yourself credit for) and will probably not confine yourself to Queens. Dream big my dear and I know you will go far, once you realise what that dream is of course.

To my Dearest Darling
Love James

Dear Number Nine

I know this person well but I fear that there's stuff they don't tell me.

Dear You,
Quite frankly I feel like you treat me like a child. I know that our relationship is bizarre and the only reason that I don't hate you is the thin barrier made of our similarities. WE talk an awful lot about University and the topic of my course choice always comes up. I think you try and hide your real feelings about my course. We don't speak very often but genetics is always a big topic between us and I believe it will always stay that way, at least I hope so because like myself you are always up for an arguement. I correct your grammar constantly and you hate that; so you make a big deal of it if I make a little slip up.I do love you but sometimes you make it so hard because I feel that you are hiding something. There have been many times in my life when I was annoyed with you but when the event took place I hated you so much. I was hurt badly but I'm glad we went through that together and ended up stronger for it. I believe If that event didn't happen I'd be completely different. You have taught me soooo much even with our constantly strained relationship. I definately carry a part of you with me everyday of my life and that part is what keeps me going everyday(lol sounds like I'm a  transplant patient.); traits I have stolen from you and it's these traits that make my life easier and I thank you for that, even simply being there for me. You are so caring, you always ask me if I'm ok and have always looked out for me even when you weren't near. Thank you for everything and i'm glad that I will get to have you with me all my life even if I do go to England for University.

Eternally grateful for you
Love James

Dear Number Eight

I know this person INTIMATEY.Lolio

Dear You,

You are constantly drugged on joy-stacy; some glee-phetamines and basically pure cheer, you make me happy whenever you are around. I have shared many memories with you ranging from the terrifying to the plain bizarre, you have such a strong will and when you set your mind to something it's near impossible to change your mind. I love how much we are alike and I really hope get to go to the same university I will be heart broken if I have to learn to life without you and my plan for us to rule the universe shall be flawed, I cringe at the thought of leaving you. You have such a great personality and I really want you to know how talented and amazing you are even if you never read this. You even share my passion for the weekly bath, you really are one of my best friends. Your have such an incerible imagination which i believe will be the key to your success and an example of this is your heritage ie you are something weird AKA an owca, you never let anything get you down and I don't actually remember ever seeing you angry. Your love for everything arachnidy and pakastani, really make me laugh. You are probably the most hilarious person I have ever meet with the exception with the exception of Doris R, even when you intentionally annoy me I still love you for just being you. If anyone doesn't know who this is by now then just take a pause and read it again. If you do know who this person is don't tell anyone it makes it more fun for me and you.

Hoping to be friends with you for a long long time.
Love James

Dear Number Seven

I know this one personally.


Dear You,

You are absolutely FABULOUS! You really are, your style and sense of fashion is amazing, you have your own style. No this isn't Claudia. You worry too much but it's only because you care about the people you are close to. I love that you might be a little self conscious at times and simply ignore personal attacks on you but you can't let anything slide when it comes to your "pretees"/people who you love. You set me straight when I was compeltely out of line and in a very bad place. Sometimes I think that you are the person who made me human. You softened my heart. You showed me that true love is possible and that I was an awful person. Oh Ye of many hair colours we barely talk but our friendship is strong none the less. Many people trying to guess who you are will probably have difficulty because I'm sure not many people even know that we covnerse on a regular basic. You are amazing! You are sooo caring and I love you for that. You remind me that the world is not full of people who care only about themselves, you taught me this through personal experiences we have shared when thigns were said that I am truely sorry for. You say you forgive me and understand but I don't think you could really forgive what I said, it was unforgiveable. However, I have acted you have been supportive and are an all round incredible person. Your compassion and mercy know no bounds. Quite frankly I love who you are and please never change! You are almost an absolute star! (very similar at least)



Eternally in your debt

James

Dear Number Six

Dear you,
Some people may find this shocking as they heard nothing of it but do not be offended not only do very few people even know this person but even fewer know that we went on a date.i was sworn to secrecy, whether that was because I'm an embarassment to date or perhaps it was because other "events were going on. We met in the summer, we went on a date and you quite frankly were vile. There are certain rules to first dates, it was obvious that you weren't very experienced in the dating area, nor was I but this does not excuse how you behaved. Here are a list of rules that you would be better off to learn even though I pray you never read this.

#1 It's not considered good practise to talk about your past failed relationships, especially not on a first date
#2 If #1 is bad practise I don't even know what telling me abotu your first sexual experience is.
#3 Putting your head on the shoulder and cuddling someone in the cinema you are just getting to know isn't good!
#4 Holding hands on the first date is just cryign desperation.
#5 KISSING someone after knowign someone for the length of time that the 3rd twilight film is long.
pushing your date against a wall and forcefully kissing them is NOT APPROPRIATE.
#6 Telling your date you are a witch and believe in an almighty goddess called Hecate?!?!
#7Telling your date you think they're the one is NO NO GOOD.
#8 Trying to add me on Facebook afterwards after how you acted?

In general you were scary and quite frankly seemed like whore to me.I am glad that there was a bus near that time. I'm glad that I have no made contact with you since because you are really rather scary.

To all those that didn't know about this I apologise. I am not allowed to divulge the identity of this person but you most likely don't even know them anyway. This is one of those bad experiences that you woudl rather just forget. If anyone asks me anything about this I will probably get quite angry as I am asking you not to now. You may question among yourself but it is in the past and SHALL NEVER BE BROUGHT BACK OT THE SURFACEWORLD EVER AGAIN! you can question among yourself but never to me. *gasps at the scandal* yeah I'm sorry but that's how it is, I just don't like talking about it because it's still fresh in my mind still and it disturbs me still, Thank you

Hoping never to talk to you again,
James

Dear Number Five

I know this person personally and I believe they know more about me that they'd like to let on.

Dear you,
You may feel like the prettiest girl in the year, but your heart of gold makes you so so attractive to almost everyone. You cheer me up almost everytime you're near. Either you are one of 3 things:
#1 Constantly happy
#2 Don't/Seldomly let anything but the happy show
#3 Emotions are beneath you (Least probable)

You probably would not understand why I am writing a letter to you but sure I'll write it anyways. You mean a lot to me, I always get the feeling that without too much actual communication that you really do know me. You know what I'm like on the inside and know things about me that other people don't, simply by occasionly chatting to me. Sometimes you're not the brightest but that doesn't mean you don't shine in my eyes. You are however truly talented in near everything you do whether you know it or not. Sometimes you can come off as smug but I always got the idea that you only come off like this because you take pride in what you do. Sometimes you confuse me and at other times you stare at me blankly but that's one of the things I love about you, you are so graceful and you just seem to me like just a real person, everything about you seems honest, not shrouding yourself in superficial qualities and you seem to get one well with everyone that you come in contact with. I used to make fun of you but that's the case with most people. It will be hard to part with you honestly! It'll be like my stomach being torn out through my diaphragm and I will honestly miss you. I am truly glad to have met you even if we don't stay in contact I at least have the memories.

(and that's five, I might make one more later but I doubt it, Stayed tuned anyway for another installment of the Mooney Chronicles.)

Love James

Dear Number Four

I know you, but not personally.

Dear You,
This is a random letter to be honest. In your class I feel like I blossomed. Before I was nervous almost shy; you class made me feel popular and I felt a connection to you and everyone else in that class. Your subject might have bored me to death but I still loved going to your class. It took so long to get used to your classes though, I not only gained knowldge but I gained confidence, you encouraged (some of) your pupils. It was a short time in my life which almost seems like a blurry haze at this point but I value that blur none the less. This is a short letter to thank you basically and also because I have little else to say on this topic except thank you I suppose for shaping me a little more into the person who I am today.

P.S. lol at Schizophrenia. (Sorry, contextual error, I meant DID)
James

Dear Number Three

 I do not know this person personally but wish I did

Dear you,
I would be astounded if you ever read this but I want to have the sentiment for writing this to affirm my extreme adoration for you. You are amazing, you have actually changed my life and are an amazing role model, you are my idol and even though some people don't/wouldn't understand my love for you...I still think you are an incredible person none the less. I liked you from the first time I realised you existed and from that point onwards I have looked up to you ever since. You are a celebrity and not one of those Angelina celebs, a celebrity that is soooo down to earth. You know how the world works and campaign for what you believe in. It was your character that enticed me and it was your charm that captived me. You are beautiful no matter what anyone says. I do believe that you are leading the way to a better tomorrow and this is one of the reasons why I near idolise you, I try not to let it show but some people know that I do admire you. I try to be like you sometimes and I know if you read this you'd probably be hummble and say you're not this great but your grace strikes awe in me.

P.S. Also, just to confuse things, This is not Lady Gaga! LOLZ
P.P.S As to let her get bombarded by people asking her who this might be, I think the only person who might be able to hazard a guess to whom this might be is Big Emma H.

Forever yours James

Dear Number Two (LOL!)

 I know this person personally

Dear You,
You are manipulative, 2 faced,vain/self conscious, irritatingly impossible to read, reclusive, deceptive and obviously have social problems; HOWEVER you are a great friend to have. You never let anyone in, you try to but are a massive failure at this and quite frankly I'm rather annoyed at you lately because of "the incident"(Which you may or may not know about.) You've hurt me all for the purpose of being dramatic.You are pretty on the outside,but inside you have garlic in your soul. I wish I could help you sometimes but it seems like an unfathomable amount of work so I don't bother. Don't worry though, I get the feeling that you and I won't stay very close in the foreseeable future. You are otherwise astounding. You remain calm, get things done and are such a good listener(if not a good communicator). You are so very handsome despite your vanity obsession. You think and dream big and have such a great way of treating people. Earlier I said you had garlic in your soul; I'd like to expand on that. You have a few problems that irritate me beyond belief but it can be reversed and I believe it will, just not in our friendships lifetime. Our friendship has an expiry date and it's getting so very close. I would love for us to stay friends but I'm sad to say that I will probably lose contact with you, mainly because you'll want to move on. I think you find you're "relative" popularity a burden nowadays and have reverted back to reclusiveness. I understand you have sooooooo sooooo much on your plate, I understand that, but I'd like to let you know that there needs to be room for friends. I think you have a lot of superficial friends. I think that you think that come Uni time you will just brush them all off and start anew but you've got a lot to learn. You don't just find new friends, it will be your personality which permits what kind of friends you'll have and at this rate you'll just end up with more superficial friends and I'm sorry; not intentionally trying to be mean but sometimes I think you're going to end up alone. I do however believe that people don't need to marry and pair off, and that's what I mean by alone, as in compeltely alone. Superficial friends and no-one to trust deeply. I will be there for you though always, I'm telling you this even if you never actually read this, I just want to assure myself that I'll be there for as long as you need me and as long as you allow it. To finish up, I need this last bit to be so very clear. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! You will always be surrounded by friends but please for your own good let even just one person in, PLEASE!

I apologise to those who want to badly knwo who this is, but I can't reveal. Also, I apologise to those who will probably think that this person is you; All I can do to console you is to say...LOLIO! and YAY for Paranoia!

Love James

Dear Number One

 I know this person personally. It will be pretty obvious who it is.

Dear You,
For many years you have been my other half. Not in a romantically entangled way but you were my other half. You were my Yin. You were young, innocent and balanced me out. You taught me so much in everything you did. When you stopped being my friend due to my relentless insults (which I'm truly sorry for, I think it's some form of defence mechanism). You forgave me and helped me grow. We aren't as close anymore simply due to the fact we've grown up but not apart. WE are still great friends and are bond forever together by our shared experiences. it's not necessarily a nice thing to say but I shall say it none them less. If I were to meet you in high school instead of primary school; I honestly don't think we'd have became friends. If perhaps you had've gone to Kilkeel primary I would've been forced to stay alone or to go and play football, pretty much a sink or swim situation. I sometimes feel guilty though; I know I'm different from everyone else, I always got the feeling that you would be the super popular girl at high school right now if I hadn't of infected you with pure essence of the bizarre. It's a strange guilt but strange is the one word that nowadays sums us up. I remember always thinking our friendship was a "normal" one until I discovered that apparently it was very grown up for us to be friends in the whole gender departmen, anywho....

I have always admired your tenacity and will to fight to the very end. You are brave, something that I am not. I am confident but I am not brave. Together we might pass for a socially acceptable person...perhaps? We are polar opposites and ones that under any other circumstances would never be caught dead together; however I like to believe that we were meant for each other(yet again not in a romantic way). you were sent to me and perhaps i was sent to you, Our destinies entwined to help each other get through the most awkward and socially outcasting portion of our lives. Though we are no longer as close I still believe we will forever be in each others lives, though as my dreams have not told me yet (LOLO) I cannot say that for certain we will be physically close together but we will always have each of our souls etched upon the other forever. That's a poetic way of saying "YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THE CRAZY!" I feel I should say more not only because you have been an astronomically large part of my life but because you are simply such an astounding person, morally and emotionally; and not that I think about it physically. You've always been pretty, wait no...just remembered the bob years; and the paint and glue years; and the awkward super acne years...hmm...predicament.... well let's just say that you are pretty now! Like a bizarre swan you have grown up and have resisted the taint of vanity without looking like a complete tramp. Brava! I shall leave you with this quote, "SNOOTY LITTLE SNOOT POT!"

Love James

Ugh, I feel like I'm betraying myself but meh.

As the title would have you think something much scandelous is going on. I shall write some letters. *vomits in the cliche ocean* Mainly because I find them interesting and fun. To make it slightly different I shan't give it a title, I shall leave it to your imagination. Some will be plainly obvious, some shall not. These people may be people I do or don't know. Don't even bother asking who they are because I won't tell ever ever ever. Mainly to kill you inside a little more. I shall start now. I'll start out easy. Feel free to guess below who you think the person might be. To make it a little more comprehesable I will tell you if i know them personally or not.

Enjoy
LOVE JAMES! <3

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

Today, after regretfully missing school, I was bored out of my mind. The story of my life the past week due to the snow, actually I was looking forward to school that was however robbed from my by one Lewis McCatee. I shan't go into details. I my idle musings I decided to read a book. Discovering that apparently I was an owner of the famous Lewis Carroll's (what are the odds of dealing with 2 lewis' in 1 day.) Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. I thought it mind be a good read, only 88 pages long and it's world famous after all. Needless to say I was already aware of the general plot for my childhood. I never did see the latest release of it but none the less I knew a little of what to expect. I was not, however, prepared for it.

I shall simply start with a statement, "It is my belief that the name of this book should be changed from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland to the more truthful Alice's LSD Adventures or perhaps simply Alice On Acid." I prefer the latter because of the sexy assonance. I really found it hard to understand why it is a world bestseller. Many parts are clever to be fair, but it sounds childish and not in a good way. Only a few may get understand this reference but it sounds like it wasn't written by an Englishy Person but more a mathematical person. later I was to discover Lewis Carroll was a mathematician.

It is immensely hard to follow not purely due to language but by the incredulously abstract ideas. I was also very disappointed in the ending, it may have been the first time it was ever used but the "and it was all a dream" ending was never really that satisfying. Overall I did thoroughly enjoy many parts of the book but most of the time I was just wondering "Where is this going?" and not in the good suspenseful way. Contrary to my so called review I do plan on ready the sequel "Through the looking glass" purely on the basis that I want to see Alice coming down from her immense Acid high. Perhaps I should write the 3rd myself. I shall, however, require 2 things, a primary school child's writing skills and 4 pounds of a very strong hallucinogenic. I would use Acid but from the sounds of it, it's pretty wild stuff; the kind of stuff that only a seven year old girl named Alice can handle...barely.

James

WONS SI LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I do enjoy the snow, except when it holds me prisoner. It's snowing, yet again and I'm trapped here. I live kind of out of the way (under-exaggeration). No-one wants to come to my house. I am bored and need human contact and for some reason MSN just isn't cutting it now, because we all know how personal MSN is. I'd also like to report that the isolation caused by the snow is making me bitter and sarcastic. Ugh, I can barely even think abotu something to blog. This snow is killing me. YEEEY IT IZ ZNOWIN AGAINS!! YEEEY! *dies*

James

I am truely sorry...

Hello friends. As my title has informed you , I am truely sorry for neglecting you. I have been busy. Mainyl completing that darned ursula costume. it took forever and I still didn't get it finished. My underwear was showing most of the night and it didn't ake me happy. However it was wearable I suppose. Anyhow, there has been snow. I haven't been able to get into school the last 2 days due to it but I SHALL be going tomorrow. Apparently there some thing for UTV that I'm meant to be in for so meh. I have also finished my first draft of my personal statement. Took flipping long enough for only a maximum of 4000 characters(WITH spaces). That's another thing off my mind. Sadly another thing crushed me again last night. I have little over a month until my resits! I haven't got nearly enough done! That on top of the 2 tests in physics and biology I missed due to my "snow/slush days". I can't wait for stratford...resits will be over nothing apart from exams to worry about, not that that is anything small it's jsut \I prefer to worry about 1 big thing rather than lots of small things.

As with many students I am terrifed that I will into get into university. I had a horrible thought If I don't get any conditionals I think I will actually cry. Whether that's in public or not will be determined by my location only. The good thing however is that I'll probably just have a heart attack waiting for results and thus will never have to worry about university. I AM NOT WORKING IN THE FISH FACTORY ALL NEXT YEAR IF I DONT' GET INTO UNI!!!!! I am actually considering a few options incase i don't get a place at uni.
1)Move into mother's and go to belfast tech from her house every day
2)Actually move to belfast and go to tech instead of uni.
3)Die
4) Do some random course from tracking that I will potentially hate.
5) Spend a year doing some form of volunteer work
6)Die
7)Go back to KHS? AS IF! but it's always an option I suppose.
8) Go to another high school.
9)Work in the fish factory and inevitably wait for depression to occur closely followed by suicide.
10)Die

There we have it. 10 viable options, some more morbid that others but sure. To lighten the mood here are some disturbing photos of Ursula's attendance of the Prefects Disco 2010!

 

 Nasty Ursula with the hatless Mad Hatter

 Ursula Exposing herself

 Pebbles and Ursula being naughty?

 Super Sleaze Ursula

Yet another glimpse of those wonderful stripy boxer briefs.

James

Ursula!

This is where I'll update the progress on my costume for ursula.

21/11/10- The idea began, the material for the tentacles has been cut and ideas are forming.

22/11/10- the first 2 tentacles have been finished, and the necklace is done. I am getting sequins from elizabeth hoefully tomorrow. I've finished designing the make up and I've heard that there are purple tights in Asda, Claudia is also letting me have her purple leggings... Thanks Claudles.

23/11/10- the 3rd tentacle is complete. Only 3 left to do. I finally have some webbing given to me by the wonderful mrs hackney. it's in the wash right now being dyed purple...let's hope all goes well...
Part 2-4th tentacle finished. I'm on fire and have developed a mean bracket stitch. I think I've found my callign in life. I shall open a store that sells tentacles!

24/11/10- 5th tentacle done. Have no idea how to fix my webbing. It didn't dye at all. Need another plan....hmmm.Planning to get this tentacle belt finished tonight. maybe some sequins on it too...
Part 2- Final Tentacle complete!!!! Going to attach them to the tentacle belt now! Hurrah! I'm ahead of schedule and I've even watched the next Glee episode already today.
Part 3- TENTACLE BELT DONE! I have also sorted the webbing problem. things are back on track! Need to pick up a black t-shirt and something for my hair and I'm nearly completion!

25/11/10- I'm becoming really pressed for time. I need one more purple piece of material for the belt then it's done. I need to actually start altering the t-shirt, need to stick some pretty stuff to my costume as well. mother has bought me white hairspray! hurrah! no talcum powder hair. i have decided to stuff my costume with a spare change of clothes incase I decide to change. It's very close to completion however I will need to do a lot of work tomorrow evening which I'd rather spend getting the make-up right. *sigh* Let's jsut hope it pulls together somehow...

26/11/10 AKA the Big Day! the time has arrived, things need to start coming together. My costume is about 80% complete! I am scared it won't be finished. I shouldn't even be blogging but whatever. I have approximately another 4 metres of stitching to complete. Why Oh Why didn't I just steal a sewing machine?
 Part 2- Tentacles completely complete! success, things are moving along now... I might make it in time.


To be Continued...

Ursula- The Sea Witch

I have decided to take on the momentous task of becoming Ursula from the little mermaid for the prefects' disco. it will take a bit of work but i'm pretty sure I can do it. If anyone would like to donate some black material for my tentacles that would be great.

                                                              "Poor unfortunate souls!"

*UPDATE*
When thinking on how to do this, I have decided to take inspiration from nature. I am going to base my design for ursula on the vampire squid. Hmmm.. I really hope this turns out well.

James

Educational Suicide

Just looked at my exa timetable. Worst decision ever. I have all my exam in 2 weeks, some people have it worse but at least they can cope. Sometimes I severely regret my subject choices, I honestly believe that I'm not clever enough to do these subjects. BIOLOGY, CHEMISTRY AND PHYSICS! Was I high when I chose those subjects. I have been trying to revise these but I can't bring myself to do anything. Then I try to look at my resit revision and want to die inside. I NEED to revise. Next week will be no fun but I have to do work, and nothing else. I still haven't even attempted to get caught up on what I missed while I was in scotland nealy 3 weeks ago. *sigh* My subjects are killing me. I think I've forgotten how to be creative. Everything is logic and numbers; something I used to love but that love has withered and I need to try and get it back or basically I won't even get into university.

                                            DUN DUN DUN It's giant brain, it's brainstorming!

Maybe sudoku is the answer, kick start my brain or something. nothing seems to work. First of all I'm going to clean my room that always helps to clear my head when everything is neat and tidy. I think I'll try adn make another to do list for myself. Also, I apologise Claudia, I followed your schedule up until writing my personal statement. I jsut can't do it. I don't even know what I'm meant to be doing...*dies*. Oh well..I'll probably do it at the last possible minute and ruin my chances of uni and therefore my life will never amount to anything..a little dramatic but meh.

James

Gravity Shmavity

Number 4: Reverse gravity


This isn't your normal zero gravity or even the old boring weaker gravity. This is FULL BLOWN REVERSE GRAVITY. Another interesting-life maker. First of all everyone who was outside would basically just fly off into space, those lucky enough to be inside or able to hold onto phone wires have a shot at survival. If the human race were to survive this, would it mean we'd have to start building our houses and skyscrapers downwards? Juggling would be a nightmare and a hole in your floor could mean death by falling into space. I wonder would airplanes still be able to fly and the world would be in ruins as the hot air balloon incustry collapsed. This isn't a fantastic one to write about but it really is fun to think about. We must however remember that the most important and by far the biggest dilemma we'd need to face is "how would we use watermills?!?!?" DUN DUN DUN! (Also helium balloons wouldn't be very much fun.)

                                                           Despressed clown balloon...?

James

Gotta catch 'em all!

Number 3: POKEMON!

A childhood dream come true, real pokemon!Leaving home at the age of ten to go around and imprison small animals in balls and force them to battle...Dream.Come.True.
Life would be more interesting with these adorable creature roaming the earth but I can't help but thing what else would happen. Life would REALLY not be like the TV show. First of all there would be NSPCP. Pokemon enslavement. How could the human race resist unlimited heat, water and electricity and most of all FOOD. OM NOM NOM! This really is delicious pokemon flesh. Not to mention the horrific experiments on them. I don't think the world is ready for pokemon yet, however I am 90% sure that someday I will have a Jynx!

                             Jynx- The politically incorrect pokemon. (Pretty sure it's a transvestite)

James

Thanks Claudles!

This isn't my psot for today, this is simply a post of gratitude for the ever wonderful, ever beautfil Claudia V Green (I added the V for emphasis, In my head it's Vivienne, but sure.) She has made me a timetable for my week and now I might actually get things done. It's workign so far, I have all my H-works done and I've even started my personal statment. Things are finally moving again! Claudia you are the diuretic of my schedule. Thank you so much, you're a STAR!

                                       (And yes I know she'll probably kill me for this but meh...)


James

If only...

Number 2- If the ground were made of rubber

It's just one of the things that happen to sail through my mind now and again. If the entire earth was one massive rubber ball I'm pretty sure I would never get the bus to school again; actually I think I'd get really sick it after about a week but sure...I'd have killer calves then.

 

I apologise to all those who just vomited due to the picture, but my body is just that glorious....

My main point is that many tasks would be made difficult if the ground turned to rubber. Pour example:

Selling trampolines

Being a meteorite and it being your goal in life to make a crater on earth

Demolishing buildings

Suicides by jumping for somewhere high

Mining for gold or looking for the underground city of the possum people

Farming of any kind

Doing the javelin 

Living in General 

 It's Hetty! The meteor!(She'll only become a meteorite once she comes into atmosphere.)

Ok. It would get sickening and it's never going to happen and everyone would end up hating it; but may I point out that it would make life more interesting...I rest my case.

Today's post was "sponsered" by Adiemus

James

Life is boring...

I'm definitely not as depressed as my blog title would suggest but it is something that's floating around in my head. Recently things have been rather dull and I get the feeling that something big is going to happen (hopefully). Things are just plain boring; each day merging into the next like some sort of life mixing spatula...OK, maybe that's not the best analogy but what do you expect I'm BORED! I light of these events I have decided on to make a list of things that would make life a little more exciting.

Number 1: ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!!!!!!!!!!111

 Yeah, basically I think life would be more exciting if you lived in constant fear of being mauled to death and devoured by zombies. Think about it, it's everything you could ever want. Going round with your friends, killing zombies, trying to re-establish civilisation,raiding, living in anarchy with no rules, surviving on your own basic instincts, raiding, saving people, raiding, living in Asda and basically raiding it. Aaaaah, living the dream. OK, I agree it would be cool for a short time up until your friends get killed, you begin to starve or if you are Elizabeth, the disorganisation kills you; but sure it would be fun up until then...I think? Oh well at least there's a chance Doris Roberts might not make it, now there's the real plus side.

James

Glee Cheesus Cheater

I must admit I felt guilty, but when I missed my alarm and had to spend the whole day at home with very little to do the idea was too irresistible. My friends, I am a cheater. I have skipped ahead and watched up to episode 4 of the next Glee season. To the American readers (or so my stats tell me) that I have, I am from Northern Ireland and therefore Glee will not be on our screens until January. I shall now become Mystic Meg and give a review of what is to come without giving anything of interest away.

Season 2

Episode 1- Auditions

An interesting beginning. A lot has changed since we left the new directions team. We meet some new people and here some amazing songs, some not so good ones too though. I am in love with a new character I shall not give anything away except for this, She's an absolute beast! Overall, A very strong start to what I expect to be another fantastic seaon of Glee.

Episode 2- Britney/Brittany

To be honest I was excited by this episode. BRITNEY SPEARS! I was on the edge of my seat, only to end up having to slump back down into it. This episode reeked of desperation and quite honestly it was weak and pathetic. I love the character brittany and she was fabulous however other than  that the programme was a travasty. I never thought that Glee could sink so low. If you miss Glee the week this is on it might be for the best. You miss nothing in the plot worth talking about.

Episode 3-  Grilled Cheesus
What can I say...The only words that come to mind are phenomonal and spectacular. After Episode 2's massive dissappointment, this episode reminds you why you watch Glee. By far it is the best Episode i have seen thus far and it's probably the best 45 minutes of tv I have watched this year. The episode tackles the controverial topic of religion, something avoided by most shows. Glee has outdone itself and in this weeks heart wrenching storyline there are a lot of beautiful songs slotted in. Perfect performances from all of the cast and at one point my eyes were "damp". It truely is the one not to miss!

Episode 4- Duets
I enjoyed this episode. I obviously braced myself as it could never be as good as it's predecessor, however I was pleasently surprised. I was right in thinking it wouldn't be as good but I was expecting it to look like a relative disaster. I thouroughly enjoyed it. It much better than it's name suggests unless you are demented and are actually into duets. I however hate duets and think they are cliche but once again I have been proven wrong by the might of Glee. It was an interesting experience to see a lot of strange couples doing a duet together. This is not a spoilerit's just random, Puck does not star in this show because he's apparently in juvie? WHAT? This is addressed in one line and nothing more is said about it.Very strange....

And that's what happened on GLEE!

James

Evolution

Over the past few years I like to think I've changed, in almost every aspect, personality, mannerisms, like and dislikes, appearance etc. the only one of these that is measurable is appearance. Stealing Claudles' idea of photographic evidence for change. So here are some photos of me other the recent years. Don't feel bad for loling I lol'd too.

                                             Have some sexy moustache work going on here.

                                                            Looking happy with curly hair?

Not really sure what is happening here? looking...I dunno...strange?

Hair may not be the norm at the time but still this one makes me laugh.

Probably a point where my hair was at it's longest, with glasses?

Looking cool, developing some form of style perhaps? (I don't know what i was thinking with the hair)

 Beginning to understand how to style my hair but before my acne meds obviously.

 Hair shortening, some beauty shoting going on here, but still little acne.(Wish I didn't have freckles)

Braces still on I think? See.. no smiles.

Beauty shot again, but developing fashion and sense of style. NO BRACES!(Need new shoes...) most recent

To be continued...?

On your own? SING!

Today has been dull up until the point I lost my Internet connection. Sounds odd but being afflicted with severe and almost crippling Internet withdrawal I decided to connect my laptop to my 42" LCD TV to play my new moosaks on(courtesy of the mysterious and ever "elegant" SLB). After almost an hour of listen to "big" music the novelty wears off, so our comes the hairbrush deodorant can and the homemade karaoke system has been born!

Singing along to music, performing for an invisible wall is surprisingly fun I must say. I would upload a video but I think I would have to miss going to school for about month to live it down. Not to blow my own horn but I am a pretty mean dancer; my singing is ummm...."fantastic". It's not a normal occurrence but it's a fun thing to do when you're home alone. To be honest I would love to be a great singer but I do not ever see that becoming a reality, and maybe there is a subconscious reason behind it. it's this time of the year that I get jealous of those who can sing and can perform well onstage. I envy them every year; this year, however, will be different. I will not care, I will be happy for them and their gift and I will enjoy their performances...I hope.

Well quite frankly i think this is a poor post and will probably try and redeem myself by posting later on but for now I shall sing poker face into my can of deodorant and try and stay calm for the physics practical tomorrow. So, my final word shall be to tell you to do a little singing today and pretend you're onstage with roaring fans screaming for you. It may be childish but being childish is what's keeping me immortal. Farewell for now.

                  This is an actual picture from tonight's events. I think I went the extra mile with the costume.

James

Don't call my name.

Today I was asked a question. One that surprised me when I realised what my response was.

"If aliens attacked the earth, and the only way to save the planet was to give them 2 people from the following list, who would you choose?

1)Barack Obama
2)Stephen Hawking
3)Lady Gaga

As it turns out I'd save Lady Gaga. Barack Obama is just another politician in my eyes, he's nothing special; and Stephen Hawking is just another egg headed scientist; extraordinarily intelligent but who cares. Lady Gaga is the one with the soul of an angel, at least to me.

I was rather shocked at my own anger at my friend Mark when he started insulting the Gaga. I started defending her ferociously. I saw red when he made the remark "Lady Gaga is a man." HE KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT HER! HE HAS OBVIOUSLY HEARD SOME DEGENERATE SAY THAT ONCE AND HAS SIMPLY REPEATED IT LIKE A PARROT! I apologise the capitals letters were a bit much but still necessary. In recent I have discovered the surprising revelation that Lady Gaga is my role model. She is amazing. She's not just another pop starlet, or fashion suicide waiting to happen. She doesn't sing about stupid things, she doesn't dress for shock value and she doesn't forget about the public.

So many celebrities get carried away and become "celebrities", like they aren't regular people anymore. Lady Gaga can be spotted giving speeches at equality rallies, and has a volunteering program on her website where you can get tickets for her concerts. At no point do I claim to even start to understand some of her songs, and I doubt that anyone will ever really understand them unless she takes on some sort of protege. I wish I could understand her songs to a greater depth because I feel there is so much more in them for me to find; but my own interpretation is that her songs are designed for us to have our own interpretation of them and use them to our advantage that way for us to grow.

She pushed fashion past it's "elastic limit", into the plastic zone, where it will forever be changed and never return. Lady Gaga's impact on the fashion world is one that cannot be undone, but then again who would want that to happen. Personally I love fashion, even though it causes me so much stress. I hear girls say they hate boys dressing more like girls? This angers me to a supernatural degree. My main problem with this is that these same girls are the ones that go into topman and buy men's clothes and they say that it's different...This is not different, it's hypocrisy! Secondly, I see the gender divide in clothes and I wonder how it ever came about. At some point someone must have said " WOMEN MUST WEAR SKIRTS!", "MEN CANNOT DRESS EFFEMINATELY!" Trying not to make myself out to be a transvestite, but some gender is in biology alone, not fashion.

 
In conclusion, my role model is Lady Gaga for the preceding reasons. She is beautiful in every sense of the word, Mind, Body and Soul. Hopefully one day I will be able to see her in person, until then Lady Gaga will have to go without meeting me *pities Lady Gaga*.

James

P.S. SHE HAS AMAZING MUSIC VIDEOS!

The Magic has Gone.

The full story. I had written out a giant memorial dedicated to the recent passing of my friend Magic. The worlds most awesome cat that has been owned by me. It was full of emo-esque depth and depression. My firefox also died and as a result my post did not save and it was lost too. Time has passed and I have begun to heal. I miss my little cat greatly but I need to move on (not in an insensative way). Luckily you any/my few readers do not have to hear that post, one of lament and sadness. Instead you simply get this, whatever this is. I believe I will be reuinted with my cat one day and that's good enough for me. After reading "The Rainbow Bridge", my favourite poem on the death of a loved one which I shall post below, listening to some healing music, clearing my house of what she left behind and laying her to rest I am ready to move on.

  I will never forget you Magic.

                                             This picture makes me laugh everytime I see it.
                                     You ridiculous personality made me laugh a lot. Thank you.

             Back when you were a kitten, I didn't know how little time I had left with you.


    Do not stand at my grave and weep 
           by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep;

I am not there, I do not sleep

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning's hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry;

I am not there. I did not die.

James

Music of Contemplation

Some thinking music I think.

Miserere Mei Deus
Any Other Name(American Beauty)  
Trois Gymnopédies: I. Lent Et Douloureux
KRWLNG (the Myleene Klass version) 
Cinema Paradiso Love Theme
The Entire album of Ludovico Einaudi/ Nightbook

Contemplation

Tonight is a night of contemplation. I'm off on "holiday", using that term loosing as holidays are meant to be fun. I try and distract myself with activities and projects. Today I saw through that, with barely anything to draw away my attention I finally confronted the truth. I feel very lonely sometimes.

I never really understood that it was possible to feel so alone when you're surrounded by people. I just assumed it was something cliche and dramatic that Hollywood imagined up; it's really possible. It's a horrible feeling. I am well aware that there are friends reading this( as well as the randomers from all over planet earth 
who take the time to read this.) And I do not want pity, I read on someones blog that they felt sorry for me sometimes. I would like to reassure you that I will be OK. I always am, and I like to think of myself as a survivor. An emotional one at least if not a physical one. Gone through enough crap that very little is new to me. Pain, hatred, anger, regret, love, longing, healing. There has been one thing that has gotten me through it all, Music. It has calmed me, healed me and made me feel loved sometimes.

I feel torn sometime between what I do and what I should do. Like telling people the truth. To be honest (irony) I sometimes think that I do certain things because I don't like the world or more specifically the people in it. I feel like I don't owe them the truth, or owe them a favour, but without getting into the psychology of it all, basically I do stupid or crazy things without thinking. It feels more like a part of my nature, if that makes sense? However it is a slumpy time right now. Strong melancholy(trying to avoid depressed because I've seen real depression) has set in and I supposed that I should take this time to think about how things are, and how they ought to be. How I wish the answer to those statements were the same.

 My current state of mind has came about through multiple means. Realisation of how much time we have left until Uni. How much work I have to do. How much people annoy me and how much I annoy myself for listening to them. General burdens. The emptiness that Shakespeare has left. Feeling like I was going to cry during my driving lesson when I couldn't do the manoeuvre. How filthy my house is, and how much I hate my mother when she complains how dirty it is when she visits.

Quite frankly, I can't think of anything to write anymore. My mind has become swamped in the marsh of contemplation.I need time to think, I think. On the plus side, Scotland next Monday!!! YEOOOO!!!...*sigh*

James

Bust Busy Busy

Since my last post things have been madness. It's very strange when you dedicate your life to one thing and nothing else for weeks.However, it is over which is kind of a relief but at the same time really sad. Knowing that the usual Shakespeare cast is no more has left me feeling rather melancholic. I do have time of other things now like any form of school work that has been left on the shelf  for the past 2 weeks; I do after all need stuff to fill the giant whole in my schedule that rehearsals have left.


Last night was our final performance in the Belfast Waterfront. I had more adrenaline than blood rushing through my veins it was incredible. I love being on stage with the piercing glare of the entire audience acting as one, like on giant black creature that is impossible to truly see with the blinding brilliance of the stage lights.

The other schools productions were... different. The first school performed the tempest in the form of a video game? Very different and interesting concept however I'm not left with that as my final thought. The thing I took away from it was "L...L...LOADING!" It tied in with their theme but took away from the actual play I thought.


Macbeth, performed by my friends in St Mary's from Newry were excellent. Their Lady Macbeth was an amazing actress who performed a dance to show her descent into madness. Their play was actually enjoyable to watch unlike the others.


Oh dear goodness...The Comedy of Errors? The plot is hard enough to follow without the entire cast being female. The entire thing was impossible to follow and when funny bits happened they felt random and out of place. I will leave you with one though for those that were there. "BAACK OFF!!!" - Said the nun?


Finally, our play. We were last in the running order, again for the 4th year running. You'd almost begin to think that there was a reason for that... Quite frankly our play (not to sound big headed of bias even though I am) was stunning. People oooh'd and and people aaah'd. Apparently people cried with laughter and others gave us a standing ovation. Our audience was spectacularly responsive and fueled our performance.


To the Athenians
You were fantastic, all of you! Emma and Kerri. You were stunning, naturally gifted actresses with talent to spare. kerri got an awwwh in her soliliquoy and that helped her to play up to the audience. Emma get her ooooh when she hit Jason in a certain place and when you got hit back by John. Jason and John. What can I say. A match made in heaven... They work so well togetehr they enjoy what they do and they are like yin and yang on stage. Their athleticism and pure talent make their fighting scenes something to behold. The realism is insane! Robert and Kaitlyn. With as few a lines as you had you were a lovely couple, and looked stunning. Mark Chambers... Well, If you forget the smiling and the looking at the audience He has the potential to be really quite good.


To the Fairies and their King and Queen.
Gary, you were strict you acted like a king. I wanted your part to begin with but I changed my mind when I made Peter Quince my own. Rachel, what can I say. You were beautiful; real and true beauty. You looked as though you were born in Eden with the help of a little make up and clever stitching by the fabulous Mrs Hackney. Amazing performance and to think of the irony. You were the queen in the shadows in Hamlet. And now you are the queen of the shadows once again. Fairies, You drove Ms T crazy, Didn't shut up, were rude, sat in the wings and complained constantly! But I would be lying if I said you didn't put on one hell of a performance last night.


To My Beloveds, The Workmen
All of you, no matter how short, how ginger, how black, how loud or how skinny you are this applies to you. You were the stars of the show. You were the ones who made people cry with laughter. The stage presence you guys made of Herculean proportions. You were divine! You were like a jigsaw, It would have been ruined with even a single one of you missing. You were 100% audience powered. The more the audience applauded, the more you became different people and the better you became. A divine and vicious circle. Ranging from transvestism to huge leaps half way across the stage. You blew the other schools out of the water


To All
You were beautiful, you made our performance a force of nature an one to be reckoned with. I am soo proud of all of you all! This being my last year? You made it the best KHS performance yet! BRAVO!!


James